Books/Film
A Secret Best Not Kept
A film review by H. Reese Butler II
A Secret Best Not Kept, feature-length documentary film by Dara Berger, producer and director. (Say It Out Loud Productions, Inc., New York, N.Y. $29.95 DVD, $24.95 VHS. www.sayitoutloud.com )
“You need to talk to each other about your loss and pain. …You will ask, ‘Why?’ a million times, and you need to ask the question.”
- Suicide survivor Iris Bolton, on losing a loved one to suicide
“A Secret Best Not Kept” is the first feature-length documentary film by suicide survivor Dara Berger. The film’s website, www.sayitoutloud.com, offers the following introduction: “A thirteen-year old girl’s life is shattered on a summer day when she comes home to find her mother has committed suicide. Eighteen years later, she embarks on a journey in search of answers. Through in-depth interviews with attempters, survivors, doctors and politicians, she not only finds the truth but something she never expected. The film is the story of
her journey through grief and acceptance, and a call to arms for change in public health policy and the way suicide is viewed by everyone.”
There have been many films and documentaries on the subject of suicide and survivors of suicide, but this is the first to chronicle the survivors movement and capture the grassroots movement catapulted by the efforts of survivors Jerry and Elsie Weyrauch (founders of SPAN USA), Iris Bolton (The Link), Al and Mary Kluesner (SAVE), Dale and Dar Emme (Yellow Ribbon Campaign), and so many more. Berger is among the latest to join that movement. Nineteen years after her mother’s suicide, Berger has made this documentary about surviving suicide.
The film is an amazing glimpse into the world of the suicide survivor movement that has led the advocates from Reno, Nev., the site of the first national conference to develop a national strategy for suicide prevention, right through to the sixth annual SPAN USA survivors’ day in Washington, D.C. (the first time it was held at the Lincoln Memorial).
Most people have no idea about the process to develop the political will to make policy changes in our federal government. This film shows the small incremental steps that have been taken on behalf of suicide prevention and the results they have achieved. With many players in the effort to pass a bill on mental health parity – such as the late Sen. Paul Wellstone, Sens. Pete Dominici, Harry Reid, and Ted Kennedy – it is amazing that no one has captured this process before Berger. Thank goodness she has, so the results will be forever remembered – by a broad spectrum of people, not just those who fought in the trenches and slogged up and down the corridors of Capitol Hill.
In addition to covering the movement and the advocates who led that movement, Dara takes the bold step of interviewing survivors of suicide attempts. While a stigma is attached to people who die by suicide and those who survive them, the attempters are in a class by themselves. These are brave souls who stand up and risk all to teach others that they do not need to attempt nor die by suicide. There is help; they got it; they survived and are glad they did. Susan Rose Blauner, one of these people, gave a chilling account of her ordeal and a great guide to finding a way out of the abyss in a landmark book (reviewed in PSNJ in January/February 2003) titled, “How I Survived While My Brain Was Trying to Kill Me.”
The viewer of Berger’s film will learn about a movement that is shaping the future of mental health care in America. This documentary is inspirational and revealing in so many ways. You can learn how to effect political change, how to accept the most horrific of all deaths, how to live in the moment and know that the person sitting next to you on a bus may be in quiet desperation wanting to die – and how you can help make a difference.
Film maker Dara Berger is a New York City-based producer and director, and founder of Say It Out Loud Productions, Inc. Her company specializes in documentary films and shorter form video projects with an emphasis on ventures that educate or stimulate dialogue on meaningful issues.
Film reviewer H. Reese Butler II is the publisher of “Preventing Suicide/The National Journal.”
